You can stop the ride now, I’d like to get off.
It has been an eventful few weeks, and I’m beginning to feel like I’m on a treadmill that people keep throwing obstacles onto – I’m not really going anywhere, but I sure am getting tired and stressed out.
After spending a week in Breckenridge with my family, immediately upon my return, Rose returned from China. I spent the next couple weeks getting her settled in, getting the house a little more unpacked (the day before I left for Colorado, I moved out of my old house, and the House of Half Ass was looking more a wreck than usual when I left it), and trying to help her find a job ASAP. The headless chicken analogy was pretty much my life for a few weeks. In the midst of this, my parents decided that they’d hire contractors to do some work on the house so that I could finish moving in. Then, suddenly, she got a job offer she thought she had no chance at getting, which is awesome. Not so awesome is the fact that the school is outside the city, in Owings Mills, and that commute…requires a car. I got a text from Rose while I was at work asking if I would be available to fly to Idaho for 10 days to drive her mom’s car back to Maryland with her – leaving in five days. Seeing as my options were pretty limited – Rose needed a car, and I am not one to turn down free travel – I agreed, even though I knew it would push everything on my schedule back. Three days before we were supposed to leave for Idaho, I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and realized that there was water streaming from the window casing of one of the two windows in the back of the house. Running upstairs, I felt the wall, and realized that there was water flowing, no, cascading through my walls, between the plaster and the brick.
The next few days were a flurry of calls and appointments with insurance staff, contractors, and my parents. I got as much done as I could before I left, but there was still a lot hanging over my head during the trip. I had a great time on the trip – Rose’s family were great hosts, and I got to go through some parts of the country I’d never been to before – but immediately upon return, I was back to work. I had four shifts in a row starting just 12 hours after we got home, and I had a week’s worth of contractor visits after that. Once those visits were done, then came the roofing company visits and the insurance adjuster visits. Once that was all worked out, I found out that I had about four days to figure out what I want my kitchen to eventually look like (because they’ll be putting in new flooring in the kitchen, and what they put in will be determined by what the new cabinets/counters/etc will eventually look like). I have about two weeks of some vague sort of breather (though I have to move everything out of the front bedroom so the plasterer can work, and work out the details on the work that is going to be done), but I’m sure that life will dream up some sort of crisis to throw in my path before long.
I’ve mentioned before that I’ve spent the better part of a decade in “survival mode” and I thought that I was nearly out of the woods, but it seems that that’s not quite true just yet. It’s a frustrating and stressful situation to be in – I would like to work on getting into a better job, work on some self improvement stuff, etc, but the vast, vast majority of my time is spent dealing with these obstacles that keep getting thrown at me, and what little time I have left over largely gets spent trying to recuperate. I keep saying to myself “after I deal with XYZ, I can slow down and focus on finding a job/getting into better shape/sorting out life stuff”, but it seems that immediately after I fix XYZ (or sometimes even before then), another crisis comes up that I have to deal with. It’s exhausting and demoralizing and makes it virtually impossible to make any long term plans about my career or my life in general.
Dear life: I think eight years of obstacles is enough, don’t you?